Old Posts - December 2001

	Monday Dec 31st 3:30pm by Brian -

Saturday night brought good times as Adam had his going away party, and Zach had his 21st birthday party. It's always nice when you get to see some people that you haven't seen since graduation. The party also had a plentiful supply of food, and that always helps things. Unfortunately, I couldn't get too crazy because I had to drive my bro home. All of the pics from the party can be found here. cracked samsung ust 8.0 Tonight is going to be pure craziness. We are getting the whole A-town crew together and throwing one crazy party. There shan't be any beer because there will be so much hard liquor. I'll have to take many pics because I sure as hell won't remember tonight come tomorrow. It's only 3:30, and tonight is already feeling like a Manhattan kind of night. IM me if you are in A-town and looking for a good party. Note: For the new TamUt people, A-town refers to Arlington. There is no need to shorten A-town to Austin. Shortening a two syllable word to a two syllable word never made much sense to me.

What a come back for the Longhorns. Damn good last game for Applewhite.

Moving on, there is an important new poll that I need you all to vote on. I need an honest answer, not just what you think because you lost last week. This is "Do you think that the State of Texas rigs the drawing so that it picks the combination of numbers that is statistacally least likely to be picked?" Click here to see last week's poll results.

I figured I should post since it is Christmas, but I don't have that much to say. Hence, I shall post some of my favorite quotes from this commercialized celebration of the birth of Christ held on a Pagan day(I triple dog dare ya' to refute this).

"Hey, since when is Christmas just about presents? Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of this day -- the birth of Santa?"
-Bart Simpson

"I want a woman in red at the bottom of my bed."
-"Mistress for Christmas" by AC/DC

"Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!"
-Chevy Chase, "Christmas Vacation"

"Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Where's the Tylenol?"
-Chevy Chase, "Christmas Vacation"

And in closing, I will leave you with the words of Krusty from Krusty's Nondenominational Holiday Funfest: "So, have a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, kwazy Kwanza, a tip-top Tet, and a solemn, dignified Ramadan."

A while back Miguel threw the last party of the semester in Austin. Good times as always. You can see two girls in there that showed up some guys bonging beers. I had to step in and bong 2 and a half just to show I could and stand up for my gender. Above you can see the Melrose crew that is responsible for most of the crazy shit that goes on.

Hmm, 2am Xmas morning. I think I ought to head to bed.

Obviously not much happens around here over the break. Brian and I will be posting every once in a while about random events going on, but pretty much we'll just be lazy and not write anything at all.

I will be partying in Austin for New Years and Brian in Arlington if you are looking to catch up with us.

Nerd News Flash:   I got CCNA Certifed today after passing the exam. Don't know if anyone even knows what that means, and if you do, you're probably a computer nerd.

Back home gets pretty boring, but I figured I should post about my last night in CS. Matt from Baylor came down to join the festivities in CS among the few people actually remaining in the town. Good times were had, and there was a nice girl/guy ratio. Details are sketchy, and pictures are lacking. Oh well. Also, congratulations to Josh(far left), Kurt(middle), and Keith(far right) who all graduated this semester. Also, sorry for the lack of clarity in the picture. I believe I hit that "button you are never supposed to hit."

I can officially say the end of the year parties kicked ass this weekend. We all headed down to SWT Friday night for some parties, which definitely kicked ass. Well except the fact that it was so packed that you got barely move your arms. Didn't have my camera for that one, but I did have it for last night. Not as crazyt, but still some damn good fun. I think one of the guys had a digital video camera, so I'm going to see if I can get a copy of that shit. I'll post pictures a little later.

Since it has been over a week since my last post, I figured I should post just to prove that I am alive. The whole finals thing tends to take up a bit of time and turn me into one, grizzled son of a bitch. I just don't sleep for a few days amidst a Vivarin binge. But now, it is time for a month of no responsibility. This doesn't mean I'll just get so blasted that I have to cover up one eye to avoid seeing double when driving home. Of course, it doesn't not mean I'll get so blasted that I have to cover up one eye to avoid seeing double when driving home. We'll see how it turns out.

Here are some things to check out. First, check out what finals mean to Wil at DrunkAtCollege.com. That's some good stuff. However, he left off Doc's homemade Ephedrine pills made from supplies picked up at the local apothecary. Next, you have to check out some of Cody's stories on his website. That site will soon be on the infamous Johnny Cash server. It should also be noted that Cody is also know as C-Po on the mean streets of San Antonio.

Well my exam is in one day and I'm just doing anything I can to not study. I was just remembering that I updated the friend's quotes page a while back with my roommate Omar's newest quote. Funny Funny stuff.

This link was posted randomly on the message board and I happened to go check it out and found this. It's an interesting quiz over biblical sex. Now don't you all go off talking about religion on the message board b/c we're going to take that. I just thought it was entertaining. Particularly this question (yes it's a facetious site, but the biblical references are correct)

5. According to Jesus, what is a woman’s sexual role?

Correct Answer: C. (To submit to her husband’s whims, for women were created to serve men and to satisfy men’s sexual needs.) “For the man is not of the women; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman: but the woman for the man” (1 Corinthians 11:8-9). “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18). “For this cause God gave them up into vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman” (Romans 1:26-27). “[Thy husband] shall rule over thee” (Genesis 3:16).

Well this weekend was exactly what it was supposed to be: get shitty all 3 nights. Sleeping a total of 4 hours from Wednesday morning to Friday night sure as hell didn't stop me from getting shitty and partying till 5am Saturday morning. Didn't stop me from getting shitty Saturday night till 4am. And it sure didn't stop me from drinking till 3 last night. After bustin my ass all week long, I have a lot of partying that *had* to be done.

Brian and I got some good pictures from Friday night's adventures. And adventures they were. So we're pretty much co-hosting the party at Katie's apartment across the parking lot and we come to figure out the the neighbors across the hall from her are throwing a Latin dance party, and the neighbors above them were throwing a party as well. Needless to say it turned pretty wild quick. So the cops do their regular showing about 1:30 or so. Dumbass underaged dumbasses that stood around out side with drinks while the cops walked up got some MIPs. Though I actually heard this conversation:

Cop: Are you over 21?
Random Chick: What? .. hmm yes
Cop: Can I see your ID?
Random Chick: Uh, I don't have it on me.
Cop: Alright then

So a couple of my friends and I head across the parking lot to my place. But not before we walk by the cop cars to see this guy posing like a drunk ass on the cop car. I honestly think he didn't got arrested either. Well when I get to my place I realize that half my friends are still back at the other party. So Doc and I head back over there to see what's going down.

(this part of the story has been omitted)

So eventually the cops leave and we are in need of a new party location: my place. So we get some guys together and relocate two kegs, and 10 gallons of punch across the parking lot, right past our rent-a-cop that was walking his puppy (I shit you not! A puppy!!) and to my back porch. We then partied on till 5am or so to make for some good times. .... Good times.

Yea, I haven't been around all week. As a matter of fact I have slept since earlie Thursday morning ... does that mean I'm not going out tonight? Hell no!! With the Typing Monkey coming to Austin, we're throwing parties out the ass for his arrival . . . and to make up for the lost sleep. Let's see how quick I pass out. Hopefully not before I hit the booze.

I could post stuff, but there really isn't much going down during dead days or "reading days" as the university likes to call them. Hence, I shall just post some more stuff to do in lieu of studying.

Stuff to Do in Lieu of Studying(cont)

10. Create a game. Of course, you can't create just any game; you have to create a game that kicks ass and has a good chance of breaking something. For the indoor types, try something like "Fireball" from Friends or "Powerball" from some sorority chicks at TCU. I would say which sorority, but we don't want to give away the reason why a certain exit sign was broken in said sorority house. To play "Fireball," all you need is some oven mitts, a bowl, lighter fluid, and a tennis ball. You can figure out the rest. Make sure and unhook the smome detector though. To play "Powerball," all you need is a group of people, a hallway, and a large inflatable ball. Then, one person tries to get the ball past another person by either throwing, kicking, or punching the ball. This one is sure to break something. For the outdoor types, there is only one choice- Pro Thunderball. For the official rules of Pro Thunderball, go here.
11. Learn how to talk like a grizzled 1890's prospector, consarn it. For help on this, check out this site.

A 7-4 season is the kind of season that gets you a bid from the most prestigious bowl game in Texas south of Dallas and north of San Antonio. That's right. On December 28th, Texas A&M will meet the winner of this week's TCU-Southern Mississippi game in the galleryfurniture.com Bowl. Well, at least it is easy to find the website for said bowl game. Let's hope that we can break our bowl curse.

Stuff to Do in Lieu of Studying(cont)

7. Gather up all the liquor bottles in your house and start experimenting. Remember that I said experiment. I did not say to mix vodka and beer together and call it a drink. That is just a plain awful idea. Here are a few suggestions from some readers. Note: I have not tried these, and so I would like some feedback if any of you try these. Also, I do not know how Rasberry Vodka and Everclear are interchangeable alcohols.

Jenny T by Jenny
4 shots- (6oz.) parrot bay- or any coconut rum
8 oz of Cheery 7 up
frozen grapes or raspberries instead of ice cubes
it should go in a clear glass- and stir well

aTm Beaner by Colleen
1 to 2 shots of raspberry vodka, or everclear works, too
about half a cup of orange juice
half a smirnoff
dash of cherry grenadine

stir and served iced

8. Start up some kind of business that offers a service or product of some kind. Then, corner the market on this service or product through bribery and intimidation. This is a good idea for two reasons: (1)You should make some extra money from your racket, and (2) you can relate to The Sopranos on a whole other level.
9. Prepare for the Christmas holiday and increase your knowledge of racial slurs. You don't want to be the only one not knowing what Grandpa is saying.

Well I got some pictures from my friend Miguel the other day. Well more like 2 weeks ago but I've just been too lazy to scan the pictures in. These pictures are from his party back on 11/9/2001. Not too many and the quality isn't perfect since I had to scan them in (damn all of you w/o digital cameras), but worth checking out.

Moving along, I'll talk a little football since that's the hot subject (but not too much considering my low level of knowledge in the sport). I think you all have to admit that it was a damn fine show on Saturday in the CU UT game. Simms finally fucked up big time to the point that there was no way NOT to blame him for the 4 turn overs he single handedly gave to CU. CU trounced the opportunty with 26 points. Isn't it great to know that Simms will start next year to?! Ha. I admit he has talent, but just not under pressure. But what the hell use is talent if you can't perform in a big-time game? None. I hope for our winning's sake that we start Applewhite in the galleryfurniture.com bowl (or wherever the hell we go), but I can see Mack starting Simms to give him the experience he desparately needs to play better next year. Understandable, but disappointing.

Now I'm going to go out on a limb and say that UT IS a better football team than CU. Just look at the 2nd half. We dominated. Look at the first half. Say we have just 2 turnovers instead of 4. You can see that UT dominated the 1st have as well minus the 4 turn overs. Don't get me wrong though, CU is a damn good team. Just good enough to take advantage of our mistakes. But not as good as UT. But what the hell does that matter? 37-39 is all that matters. It's the same deal as OU, yea they are a better team than us and deserved to be in the game, but if you don't perform every_single_game 100%, you'll get fucked in the BCS. I'm done ranting.

Another week and another weekend of great college football action. The #1 team in the land is a dropped two point conversion away from going into OT on the road. The #2 and #3 teams both lose. The next BCS standings shall look very interesting come Monday. And after the regular season concludes, a bunch of computers will determine who plays for the national championship because a playoff system would just make too much sense.

Stuff to Do in Lieu of Studying(cont)

4. In honor of George Harrison, start or add to your Beatles' music collection. If you aren't computer savvy and don't have a good file sharing program, go here.
5. Form an opinion about something you know nothing about. This can be especially handy around bowl selection time. You can piece together limited facts which you gather from "credible resources" such as the internet and hearsay and try to make up for not following the season until now.
6. Read some old SNL transcripts. Some of my personal favorites are "Who's More Grizzled?" and "Grayson Moorhead Securities."