Seeing as Spring Break is upon us and we are all planning on getting drunk and hooking up, you're sure to hear all the usual talk of practicing safe sex. Well, out of sheer morbid curiosity, I did a little research on the CDC website and compared the numbers against the U.S. demographics, and I discovered that the overall odds a white male will get HIV from having unprotected vaginal sex one time with a white female is roughly 1 in 5 million.

p.s. they are also putting a second one in Austin somewhere

Holy Shit Jesus H. Christ, a miracle has come to Dallas, and it's name is Freebird's. Just north of Lover's Lane on Greenville across the street from the Condom's To Go opening this spring is first decent Burrito to grace the Big D scene ever. Better than Chipotle, not a fake such as "Big Bubba's Burritos" but a genuine honest to goodness Freebird's burrito.

God said let there be Burrito and it was good.

What about Vegas? Somehow 25+ friends and I all managed to be going to Vegas on the same day and leaving on the same day and staying at either the Luxor or MGM Grand. Thats a viable poll answer.

I like how the first 2 searches for LCC on Google are Tamut, and the 3rd is the College of Education Texas Tech University.

its like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain

Yeah, those def. driving exams are so tough. Wait, you were just kidding . . . never mind.

i just finished Defensive Driving as well. had to take the 'exam' 3 times to pass, though. that shit was hard.

just kidding, of course.

I bought a Honda Element in December. At first I said "no fucking way". Then I found a color and some options that I liked, and it did grow on me. Now, I am very happy.

Your poll forgot "Rock climbing, and drinking copius amounts of beer afterwards."

Ok maybe that's a bit too specific, but maybe "The Great Outdoors" would do.

Yay!

Yea, I didn't think about the skiers. Updated the poll, just for you.

The fourth call ever that I revieced on my new Verizon wireless phone was from a guy asking me about Cell Phone service from Cingular Wireless.
I let him speak about a minute about blah blah features, etc. and then politely said "Do you realize you called a Verizon cell phone number that just started a couple days ago with a 2 year contract?"

He responded with "Oh, have a nice day" Click.

I swear I don't know where they get thier call lists from, but obviously they don't pay attention to the numbers.

I just got a call from a telemarketer trying to get me to switch long distance carriers to the new Southwestern Bell, SBC. The guy was reading off his script how he is so excited to offer his plans. . . blah blah blah . . .

Then, there was a pause. I had no idea what he had asked me so I asked him, "Did you ask me a question?"

him: "Yes, Do you spend more than $20 a month?"

Now, being the smartass that I am to these telemarketers that love to call me in the middle of a nap or cramming for an exam (which is what I was doing at the time), I told him, "Yeah, I buy condoms and spend more than $20 a month on those." So after his bewildered pause, he said that I was on the wrong subject and that he meant on long distance. So after screwing with him some more, he said to consider SBC in the future and keep their number in mind, 1-800 . . .

So, with the finale, I had told him I needed to memorize that number and told him 1-800 and the next three digits that I could remember. I had him repeat the number to me, slowly this time. Then I told him that I forgot it again before telling him peace. Do you know what I am talking about when these telemarketers leave their number after you tell them you are not interested. You tell them to shove off, and then they say ok, just call toll free blah blah blah . . . We already said we weren't interested. These companies love wasting that extra time and money to give us a number we don't care about.

If these jerks are going to waste our time, do the same to then, and give them crap on the phone. Keep it up.

I stumbled out of the UTC at 8:45 after my MAN 320F test and another run in with an indoor pigeon interrupting the test... I was quite out of it, but I don't recall a Honda display. It's now been 30 hours of no sleep for me... I fell off the curb waiting for the bus at 1 and sprained my ankle... I still have a lab at six, and I have to meet a friend for coffee at nine... Someone shoot me.

Fresh off a defensive driving course, I can say that men are responsible for many more accidents than female drivers. I won't deny that men are generally safer drivers, though.

Speaking of driving, did any of you happen to see the Honda Element model outside of UTC this morning? The marketing manager for Honda in LA spoke to my marketing class today since a group of UT students are working on a marketing project for the Element with an Austin Honda dealership. They brought the model to campus and opened it up for students to look at. Really sweet sound system. At first glance, it is ugly as sin, but it kinda grows on you.

Poll sucks. You forgot about the hordes of students who are going to go skiing for a half day and then get drunk at the bar on the mountain. Like me.

I can categorically say that I have never put makeup on in the car while driving. I can't manage to put makeup on while in the passenger seat, much less when I'm responsible for the vehicle's motion. It is funny, though, how the only time I become concerned about being on the phone while driving is when my parents are annoying me during a conversation:

Dad: "stupid question #3215"

Me: "Dad, I'm merging onto 35, and I have to go. Bye"

Click.

I surely wouldn't mind if women weren't allowed to drive. A sharp decrease in makeup and cell phone related car accidents is always a good thing.

I'm not sure how women not being allowed to drive and infants being gassed are comparable, but whatever, fuck it, I'll do what you say and I'm just gonna drink my beer and bitch about increased tuition fees and PTTS. Stupid PTTS.

Check out my website at http://drunkenjimbeamman0.tripod.com

Dude, just turn on the shower, take your dump, then take your shower, and no one is the wiser. Or go in the middle of the night.

Fat Tire,
The "safe place to shit" (and of fart) barrier was breached along time ago with my girlfriend's parents. I'm sitting in thier living room and from around the corner in walks her dad. He takes 2 steps and lets one rip. Ever since then it's no big deal.

I mean if you can't even feel safe enough to drop off some brown friends at the pool in their house, how do you plan to ever be completely comfortable around them or her in general??

that was a lot of typing

Yeah, that's it...my brain is all fried on war talk. Fuck it, we're going to war anyway, I might as well shut up and get with the winning team.