"I'm going to be your brother-in-law."

--from my sister's fiance. Imagine Nedermeyer from Animal House, with considerably less intelligence.

Worst thing said to me:

"Step out of the car, please. I'm going to administer a field sobriety test."

While I know everyone on here is a Simpsons nut, I myself was a great fan of another FOX classic: Married With Children. Anyway, since it's summer and we're board at work or with class or whatever, here's some good Al Bundy quotes I remembered:

"I'm the only guy in the world who has to wake up to have a nightmare."

After a day of selling shoes: "I saw women today that would make General Scharzkopf carry the white flag."

"There is so much that I wanna say to you but there's a show coming on that I wanna watch."

"Bud, we don't throw away everything that doesn't work. If that was the case, you wouldn't have a mother."

"Of cause my present lack of faith is understandable since your average parking meter makes more a day than I do."

Ross, you are stupid....you don't know what the hell you are talking about....

Yea, that's why I tried to exclude the serious ones. You got the right idea.

Ok, outside of sappy stories and tragedy, this was probably one of the worst things ever said to me.

After sliding into some old hag's tiny Geo Metro at an intersection in Waco (it was raining and she was sitting at a green light); she clutches the back of her neck.

Me: (yelling to her) "Let's pull into that parking lot up there."

Old bitch: Ok, that's my husband's new chiropractic clinic.

Matt, I have a feeling that this worst-ever contest isn't going to go over too well. Probably the shittiest things said to most people aren't good for message boards (mostly death of loved ones and stuff). We'll see though.

Or soda pop.

hey, at least they call it "soda" and not "pop"...

Wanna know what is odd? When you are driving to work and you see your ex-girlfriend walking on the sidewalk. The ex-girlfriend you haven't spoken to in over a year. And that same night, she calls you out of the blue.

Odd.

The girls are also pretty ugly up North compared to Texas babes.

It's not so much that they say soda, it's how they say it... "sooooda"

I've always said "soda" instead of Coke... but I'm originally from the East Coast, so that could be why. Moving to Texas confused the hell out of me--"'Do you want a coke?' 'Sure' 'OK, Dr Pepper, Sprite, or Coke?'" Huh?!

You know up here they call them 'barrels' instead of kegs. And 'soda' instead of coke.

ooooh....fight fight fight...hehe.


PS: CP, who are you? Wait nevermind....I just figured it out. Hi Charlie!

No I wasn't referring to you.

Hmm, if you are trying to refer to me being unemployed, you would be mistaken.

Well, I am stuck at work all day, even though everyone else except the secretary is in San Antonio for a conference. I have jack shit to do, but I have to be here for 9 hours anyway. So the thought of going out and getting shitty is tempting, but unfortunately some of us have jobs.

whats up lindsey just wanted to say hi from one of your old fiends back at home. later

Hey, nothing wrong with getting shitty every night. Since I've been in Wisconsin, I've been drunk more nights than sober.

(hey look, my first post for 2 weeks)

Oh yeah, that list excludes people who are taking classes...I for one am not.

Actually Durden, Brad's not in Lubbock, he's in Arlington and has been ever since Saturday. So, if you'd like to know what there is to do in Lubbock right now...well, it's probably just about the same as everywhere else...not much. We can go play golf, that's fun. We can all go to our jobs and make money. That's not too bad either. Me and Haas just found a new house, so we've been fixing it up and getting it ready to move in. That's great too. We could go out to Lake Alan Henry and go cliff jumping or fishing or any other kind of boating activity. But what most of us do is just go to a bar. I don't see much problem with that. But tell me, what do you have to do? I can't think of much else that anyone our age would be doing besides working, playing golf, being on the lake, working on the house (or doing something inside the house), laying around watching tv, or drinking at the bar. If you have any better suggestions for Brad to do...please, share them.

Oh, I won't ever take a preseason poll too seriously. We all know how the infamous SI curse works. I just like to see a legitimate enough source saying we are going to have a good season. The key to our season is learning how to score points. Our defense will always be good, but we can't have the offense leaving those guys on the field for 3/4 of the game. I am just looking forward to October 5th when the Ags start conference play and show Tech how a team with class wins at home.

Let's see, this Brad Arthur guy posted on Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday night, and he was wasted everytime. Sounds like a sloppy drunk bastard to me. Which is even more reason to not listen to his pro-LCC ramblings.

Life must be really exciting up in Lubbock, ya boozehound.

Since when does one Heisman-caliber player constitute a great team? Besides, calling Kliff Kingsbury a Heisman worthy QB is a stretch at best. The guy put up some good numbers last season, but I'd say he's about as likely to win the Heisman as Chris Simms. And don't take those preseason polls too seriously. I've seen Texas ranked everywhere from #1 (Street and Smith's) to #22 (some bastard on the East Coast). No offense to the Aggies, but I think #7 is overdoing it just a little. So is Oklahoma at #1. OU's offense was already pretty screwy, and I see no improvement. Their defense was their bread and butter, and they lost Williams and Calmus. Big holes to fill, and a group of JUCO transfers aren't gonna do the trick.

You're right about one thing, Brad. The Horns are gonna kick serious ass in Lubbock this year, and we might do it without shoving goalposts into the stands and spraying graffiti all over your campus. Winning with class is difficult, but it can be done.